Let's Get Philosophical

Today, I have been in Namibia for one month. It doesn’t feel like that long. But when I think back to the day in December that I was eating dinner with my family in New York City, right before they dropped me off at the airport hotel, it seems like a decade ago.

Time doesn’t really make sense to me right now. It never does when I travel. Sometimes 20 minutes of sitting, being bored, and attempting to not binge eat all of my week’s food rations feels like 20 days. And apparently 20 days can simultaneously go scooting by while I attempt to do something more productive than gaping at my surrounds in awe.

I have been told that my goal is to first function in my new life, and then to start working on community and school development and whatever else needs assistance. This, for me, is exceedingly annoying. 

I'm not always patient with myself. 

It’s only been two weeks of teaching. And contrary to popular belief, this is a job. Not a year-long vacation. It will be difficult. I understand that. But two weeks of a new job at home, and you start to get into the swing of things. I like that. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m a fast learner. I’m a willing worker. Two weeks here at my school, however, and all I have gleaned from my experiences thus far is that I have no clue how to operate as a teacher, a co-worker, a housekeeper, a cook, or a friend in this country. One step forward, 15 bazillion steps back. 

Every class I realize how much work has to be done before I have to set my little learners free so they can take, and hopefully pass, their cumulative exams.  And every hour I discover something else that I am totally in the dark about. I’ve collected quite a stash of questions. Not so many answers, however.

How do I write a Scheme of Work? And a year plan? This yogurt has been sitting in the sun for 4 hours…is it ok to eat? Does this shirt smell? How do I show humor without being sarcastic or snarky? How do I clean my house without cleaning supplies? How do I burn garbage? What is the schedule for school? No, seriously, WHAT IS THE SCHEDULE?  What are these worms that keep leaving cocoons on my bed? Will I meet everyone’s expectations? Will I meet my own? Is there tape anywhere in this school? Scissors? Why do the learners keep saying “miss” for no apparent reason? How do I handle seeing corporal punishment in my school? Is this guy just being nice or is he hitting on me? Should I run away? Will I ever like canned meat? How can I ask this person to repeat herself for the 5^th time without making her want to send me back to the US? What? Huh? Are you serious?

But I always have the answer to two questions, and for now, maybe these are the only questions that matter.

Am I OK?

Yes.

Do I want to be here?

Every day.

So, that’s enough fo' me.