News Alert!

If you live in the Cape May County area, the Court House library will be hosting a bake sale to fundraise for my school, Orotjitombo Primary School, on August 26^th. 

The funds will go towards a kitchen project I have been trying to get in order before I leave. Currently, the school does not have a kitchen, and is instead cooking maize meal porridge outside on a fire two times a day. It’s windy during this time of year, which makes building a fire difficult and the resulting porridge to be full of dirt, grit, and bits of foliage.

Cooking the porridge

The maize meal porridge that makes up their diet

Lining up for lunch

Serving the porridge

Mealtime isn't the healthiest it can be for the students, and thus we would like to construct a kitchen, complete with stove and refrigerator, allowing for more meal options and cleaner food. The kitchen will be an enclosed 7.5 x 5 m structure with a storage room included. 

Time is running out before I leave, and so far, the other teachers and I have not been able to find many willing donors.

The library staff has been kind enough to agree to bake some delicious treats for you Cape May County residents and visitors (and believe me, they are excellent bakers) in exchange for a few coins from your change purse. A dollar goes a long way in Namibia, and my learners and I would so appreciate if you break your diet for the day and drop by the library on August 26^th.

If you don't live in the Cape May area, you can help too! Click the donate button at the bottom of this blog to make a contribution via PayPal. Or you can click this link to donate through the WorldTeach organization. WorldTeach is a non-profit organization; thus, you can claim your donation as a charitable deduction on your income tax if you donate through them. Just click the link, and choose  "contribution to volunteer fee/in-country project" from the drop-down box labeled "Donation Specified For:" and type "Mailin Plagge" in the box that pops up.

Many thanks, guys! Hoping for the best. 

A Beginner’s Guide on How To Take an Exam

Disclaimer: All of these answers are copied word for word from the English exams of my 6^th and 7^th graders. I would take pictures, but they would never upload. So, honor system. These answers actually exist. And although I appear to be making fun of some of the answers I received on this term’s final exams, I am in fact very proud of my learners. Many of them improved monumentally from last term. That said…

Welcome to Ms. May’s Tips for Test Taking! Follow these rules and you will be right as rain.

Be sure to begin by asking the proctor if you should indeed write your name on the name line.

Also, write a random phrase on the line for your grade, such as dangerous or cool boy. Numbers are for losers.

Now, let’s get going.

Read those instructions! But when you don’t know the answer, you can do several things.

1. Talk complete bollocks. For example:

Question: What is Rabies?

Answers:  -are small animal which lives in the bush eats trees

-is a something have lot of rain like Rabbit. Raining money time.

     -Is the small animal live in will but have big eyes.

                 -Rabies is the topic of the world.

2. Or, choose a random and irrelevant fact from science class to reiterate.

Question: Define what pets are and give an example of a pet.

Answer: Pets is insect like mosquitor

3. Another strategy is to start making up words.

Question: How many bread rolls did Tuli buy?

Answer: Gooby 11

Question: What is she holding in her hand?

Answer:  -is book and ekend

   -she holding a feedle

   -on dope the hand is ekori

If you still don’t know the answer, at least be sure to amuse your teacher.

Question: Change this sentence to a question: The medicine will make you better.

Answers:  -No.

     -Make better the medicine you will. (Thank you, little African Yoda.)

Finally, be sure to praise yourself. Really give yourself a pat on the back. You can even write something in the blank space on the last page if you want to. Like this:

-Good Boy!

-is excellence plz and plz!!

But don’t write this.

Miss I cano a speaking englsh (I can’t speak English.)

And if you can’t praise yourself, praise Jesus.

Good luck Jesus for me!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus!! Jesus!! Luck!!!

Got to admire the enthusiasm.

One Day I’ll Camp in a Tent: Take 27

Today I was force-fed a piece of cake the size of my head.

This might not sound like a problem to most people, but the taste was not worth the calories, and at the moment I could easily author a best-selling memoir called Fat in Africa.

It was a co-worker’s birthday bash today, so we had a rager in the empty Grade 7 classroom. Closest thing to a nightclub you will find in the bush. This boisterous party included some bumpin’ Namibian jams, an obscene amount of picture-taking, and a pink cake the size of the suitcase I brought to this country.

Anyway, for some reason I was not allowed to leave the party until my cake was finished.

In a culture where being fat is attractive, the word “diet” does not translate. Which is disheartening, since I had actually lost a pound or two after last weekend when I went on a quadbike trip with two Afrikaaners who require only the occasional brotchen every 3 to 4 days to survive. However, because I’m a normal person that actually consumes more than beer everyday, they made sure I didn’t starve to death. Considerate.

The trip started in Opuwo, went up to somewhere on the Kunene River, followed the river to Epupa Falls, and then came back down to Opuwo. Past that, I have no idea where we were at any point. A common theme of this year.

And by this year I mean my life.

As is usual when hanging with these two, the trip was full of bumps, hiccups, mishaps, scrapes, a pretty solid bruise on my hip (that one was my fault), and sleeping outside in the sand, sans tent.

And also lots of trance music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4shwJBnYEM

But while they are debatably certifiable, Mr. Trance and Mr. Dance are entertaining as all get out. Dull moments are few and far between.

The so-called road we took was a bit rough, to say the least. And although I drove the bike once (with supervision), I was glad to be passenger for the majority of the time.

The scenery was definitely up to standard, and nothing cheers me up quite like hauling ass around the mountains of Kunene. 

So much ass-hauling happened that by Saturday the bike had had enough of life, crapped out completely, and was relegated to the trailer attached to the back of the bakkie that made the trip with us. At some point between this happening, almost dying of heat stroke, losing the bike off the back of the trailer, finding the bike yet again, startling several Himbas, and arriving in Epupa, the Great Chutney Spill of 2013 happened.

Massive explosion of chutney.

Spare tires, clothes, bags, coolers, and a decent portion of the truck bed were covered in pinkish brown goo. While my appreciation for chutney has never been that of your typical South African, it was even less so after seeing the condiment version of nuclear fallout.

However, there were no real causalities. The mess was cleaned up (with a repetitive “chutneyyyy…chutneyyyy…” coming from the mouth of the Afrikaans Peanut Gallery), and we drove back to Opuwo.

Ironically, Opuwo means the end in Otjiherero, so that is a fitting place to end one’s journey. Although the end of what I’m not sure. Tar roads? Grocery stores? Your sanity?

So, while I stress about the mountain of cake that is now in my stomach and sing that “It’s the end of the world as we know it” song in my head, here are a few photos to help you visualize the trip.

The bike

View from the bike #1

#2

#3

Riverbed where we randomly stopped to make a fire...

And then got stuck when leaving said riverbed

The boys, Saturday morning.

Bakkie riding through palms

Driving through the Zebra Mountains

Mr. Trance and Mr. Dance discuss...things

Yes. I could live here.