I Can Bucket Shower, And So Can You.

Because I was told by a crazy Brit that my last blog post was very angsty, I figured I’d take it back down to earth.

And what better way to bring it down to earth than talking about my cleanliness? Remember, it’s next to godliness. 

Welcome to A Lesson in Bucket Showering 101

Allow me to educate you on my delicate and refined technique.

First locate your bucket. If it is pink and plastic and will probably break by April, even better. You have it? Congratulations.

After filling up your bucket at the tap outside, bring it in the house and get into your skivvies. Contemplate your first move. Realize that you have no moves. Shove your head in the bucket upside-down and shake it around in the water like you are Willow Smith. Shampoo up. Look around for a vessel to more effectively rinse the shampoo from your matted head. While you are naked and shampoo-y, stand in your kitchen and quickly eat an entire container of canned peaches (because your only Tupperware is being used) so that you can use the empty can to dump water on your hair. Use your brilliant peach can idea to pour water over the rest of your body. Feel awesomely resourceful and full of peaches. Soap. Rinse. Attempt to clean your feet if you must, but know it’s not worth it. Dry yourself off, and give yourself a pat on the back. You will be marginally clean for the next 10 minutes.

It’s really a precise art.

Consequently, it’s a good thing I don’t have roommates.